Every time you talk to a girl you need to be able to see everything through her eyes. To be able to see through her eyes you have to understand what she wants, how much attraction she feels for you, and what kind of mood she is in.
As strange as it is to hear, the best way to understand what women really want is to read romance novels. They are filled with what women are really attracted to. Also make sure to read my book Understanding Sexual Attraction: What makes a woman want you.
One very important thing you want to see through her eyes is how attracted to you she is. Here is an example to show why this is important: Guy 1 approaches a girl with the line “Do you know where X is?” and everything is going fine, then he just comes out and says “I like you, can I have your number?” He didn’t read how she felt and so he didn’t see that she didn’t feel any attraction for him yet. If you look at it through her eyes here’s what she is thinking:
-OK this guy is approaching me… he wants me, he’s just using this as an excuse to talk to me. He’s OK looking but nothing special, and so far nothing interesting has come out of his mouth. My first impression of him is not good because subconsciously I have read that his body language is not very good. He could make a good friend. Oh he just said he likes me… what makes him think he has a chance with me? He’s asking for my number, it would be awkward if I said no. Here I will give it to him but only respond when I am bored.
So she doesn’t ever really feel attraction for this guy, but he showed all his cards anyway. Not the best choice. Now let’s look at the exact same interaction but the girl this time will be attracted to the guy.
-OK this guy is approaching me… he wants me, he’s just using this as an excuse to talk to me. He’s OK looking but nothing special, but he is clearly very confident. I wonder what has made him this confident. I can subconsciously see that he has very good body language, I know he’s only OK looking but why do I feel attracted to this guy? Oh he just said he likes me… we just met and he is already putting himself out there. He is extremely brave. I’ll give him my number, I hope he texts me so I can figure this guy out.
So this is the exact same interaction with a guy who is just as good looking, but excellent body language triggers attraction and curiosity from the girl. The guy says the exact same lines, but gets a completely different response. Some people say coming out and saying something like “I like you” is beta. It is only beta if she sees herself as higher value than yourself. You have to be able to read where you stand, and to do that you have to be able to look through her eyes.
We will use this exact same interaction, except now the guy will read that the girl is not into him, and act accordingly. He opens with “Hey do you know where the X bank is?”
-OK this guy is approaching me… he wants me, he’s just using this as an excuse to talk to me. He’s OK looking but nothing special. His body language is not bad, but not good either. I don’t feel any attraction for this guy, but it’s somebody to talk to. Oh he’s teasing me, maybe he’s just a fun guy who likes talking to new people. Maybe he doesn’t like me… why doesn’t he like me? Oh he has traveled the world, he’s adventurous. I would love to travel the world. I wonder how he did it and what it was like? Maybe I like this guy. Oh he’s asking for my number, I don’t want to stop talking with him, but at least this way we can talk more.
In this interaction the guy waited until the girl was actually attracted to him before he asked for the number. If he would have said “I like you.” at the beginning of the interaction like the others, then she may have given out her number, but she would not have actually met him. He read the body language signs she gave off and was able to see when she started feeling attraction for him.
To sum up what you can learn from this is that if you have solid looks and body language then you will make a good first impression and you should keep first interactions short (this doesn’t mean keep an actual date short, just remember that the goal is to get the date). A short interaction will be less work and it will be harder to mess up. On the other hand if your looks and body language aren’t as good, then you will have to use personality attributes and status to create attraction. If this is the case then you will want to talk with her longer so you can show you have these things.
In these examples the guys asked for the girls numbers, I still believe doing that is the best way to waste your time, as you can’t be sure if the girl is into you. If you don’t know how to read the signs to see if a girl feels attraction for you read my book 120 Body Language signals that She Likes You.